Why This Worry Happens

It’s completely natural to feel a bit anxious when someone is visiting your home, asking questions, or observing how you interact with a child. Many foster carers want to do everything “right,” and the thought of a professional evaluating their parenting can feel intimidating.
You might worry that your home isn’t perfect, that your parenting style will be criticised, or that one mistake could reflect badly on your ability to care for a child. These fears often come from a place of wanting to do your very best — and that’s something to be proud of.

The Reality: Social Workers Are There to Support You

While it can sometimes feel like you’re under a microscope, social workers aren’t there to judge or catch you out. Their role is to support, guide, and empower foster carers so they can provide the best possible care for children. Social workers understand that fostering is both rewarding and challenging, and that every carer will have questions and moments of uncertainty along the way.

They expect you to need help — that’s part of the process. In fact, being honest and open with your social worker helps them understand what kind of support you might need, whether that’s practical advice, emotional reassurance, or extra training.

Building a Partnership Based on Trust

A good relationship with your social worker is built on trust and communication. When you share your concerns or ask for help, you’re showing that you’re committed to doing your best — not that you’re failing. Social workers appreciate carers who are reflective, self-aware, and willing to learn. These qualities make for stronger, more confident foster families.

You’re on the Same Team

Ultimately, both you and your social worker share the same goal: to make sure the child in your care feels safe, supported, and loved. You’re not being tested — you’re part of a partnership that works together to achieve that goal. So, if you ever find yourself worrying about being judged, remember that your social worker is on your side. They’re not looking for perfection — they’re looking for passion, patience, and a willingness to grow.

The post Initial Worry No1 – Being judged by my Social Worker appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

For many families, fostering is an incredibly rewarding experience, but it also brings changes that can be deeply felt by everyone, including your own children. Understanding what it’s like to be a foster sibling can help you prepare, support your family, and make the fostering experience as positive as possible for everyone involved.

The Positives: How Fostering Can Enrich Your Children’s Lives

1. Building Empathy and Compassion

Fostering offers children a powerful lesson in empathy. They see firsthand that not all children have had the same start in life, and they learn to appreciate the difference that love, patience, and understanding can make. Many parents say their children develop greater emotional intelligence and kindness through fostering — qualities that stay with them for life.

2. Forming Meaningful Relationships

Foster siblings often develop strong bonds with the children who come into their home. These relationships can be full of laughter, shared experiences, and new perspectives. Even when placements are temporary, the memories can leave a lasting impact, teaching children that family isn’t only about biology — it’s about care and connection.

3. Appreciating Stability and Family

Through fostering, your children may come to value their own family life in new ways. Seeing the challenges their foster sibling has faced often helps them recognise the importance of safety, belonging, and support — and it can strengthen their appreciation for their own home environment.

4. Developing Responsibility and Maturity

Fostering can bring out a new sense of maturity in children. They learn flexibility, patience, and how to adapt to change. Whether it’s helping a new sibling feel included or understanding when parents’ attention is divided, these experiences can help children grow into more considerate and resilient young people.

The Challenges: What Children Might Struggle With

1. Adjusting to Change

When a foster child joins the family, routines and dynamics can shift. Your children will need to share their home and time — and that can be hard. Preparing them in advance, and giving them a voice in the process, can make these transitions smoother.

2. Feeling Overlooked or Left Out

In the early weeks of a placement, foster parents often need to focus extra attention on helping the new child settle in. It’s natural for your biological children to feel a little pushed aside or unsure of their place. Setting aside dedicated one-on-one time and checking in about their feelings can help them feel secure and valued.

3. Coping with Difficult Behaviour

Some foster children come from backgrounds where trust, consistency, or appropriate behaviour were not modelled. This can be confusing for your children, especially if they don’t understand why their new sibling acts out. Honest, age-appropriate conversations about trauma and patience can help them make sense of these situations.

4. Managing Goodbyes

Perhaps the hardest part of fostering for many families is saying goodbye. When a foster child leaves — whether returning to their birth family or moving to another placement — your children might feel a real sense of loss. Encouraging them to express their emotions, make memory boxes, or keep in touch (where appropriate) can help them process those feelings in a healthy way.

How Parents Can Support Their Foster Siblings

Your children’s experience as foster siblings will depend largely on the communication, understanding, and reassurance you provide. Here are some ways to support them along the way:

• Be open and honest: Talk about what fostering means, why your family is doing it, and what changes to expect.
• Involve them in decisions: Ask for their input when possible — even small things like helping set up a bedroom can help them feel part of the process.
• Make time for them: Protect moments of normal family life and one-on-one time.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Reassure them that all emotions — excitement, jealousy, sadness — are valid.
• Celebrate their role: Recognise that being a foster sibling is an act of kindness and generosity in itself.

Final Thoughts

Being a foster sibling can be one of the most enriching experiences of childhood — but it’s also one that comes with real emotional demands. As parents, understanding this balance helps you prepare your family for both the joy and the challenges that fostering can bring.

When children feel supported, informed, and included, fostering doesn’t just change the life of the child who joins your home — it strengthens your entire family.

The post What It’s Like Being a Foster Sibling: The Joys and the Challenges for Families to Consider appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

All fostering providers are governed by legislation, regulation, standards and statutory guidance. To ensure they comply with these regulations and standards, they are inspected by Ofsted, the regulatory and inspection body.

A long week

Amongst other institutions, Ofsted also inspects schools, nurseries, childcare providers and Local Authority children’s services. It’s not uncommon for some of these organisations to have an inspection over 1 or 2 days. For small, independent agencies, the inspection generally lasts a whole working week.

The team at Eastern Fostering Services was feeling positive when the notification of inspection was received, but we knew that every file, every process, every decision would be under the microscope. This was, of course, a big deal for us as we believed we really deserved recognition for the hard work and commitment we put into our children and carers.

First class feedback

As part of the inspection, the inspector asked for feedback from our carers, our children and young people and from other professionals who work with us. The inspector later said that she had been overwhelmed by the quantity and quality of feedback we received.

We were so touched that several of our young people came in to speak to the inspector face to face to share their views about us as a team.

“I feel protected because there is so much experience in Eastern Fostering Services, they are all about the children as well as looking at how best to help us.”

Foster carer

A worthy verdict

The inspector judged Eastern Fostering Services to be Outstanding.

“The independent agency provides highly effective services that consistently exceed the standards of good. The actions of the fostering agency contribute to significantly improved outcomes and positive experiences for children and young people.”

Ofsted 2023

So why are Eastern Fostering Services Outstanding?

We have been judged as outstanding because we provide outstanding care and support to our children and foster carers.

We find loving, well-matched homes for children and young people where they feel accepted and nurtured and where the carers are supported comprehensively and creatively.

“If it wasn’t for them (EFS) I wouldn’t have my family.”

EFS Child.

All of our children are in education and are making brilliant progress. Eastern Fostering Services advocates for all our children to access any additional educational support services they may need.

We also offer:

• A dedicated 16+ worker who has introduced a structured independence pathway to support young people as they enter adulthood
• A nurture lead to support carers
• A young mentor to support birth children
• A forum for children and young people that allows them to shape services according to their wishes
• Therapeutic training and development for carers
• Child-centred practice, decision making and advocacy

“Children enjoy trusting relationships with adults who they can share any worries with and who they trust to fight their corner.”

Ofsted 2023

And although as a team, we have grown, our carers unanimously stated that we have maintained the supportive family feel which enables us to retain our carers.

Do you want to be part of a team that makes an outstanding difference in the lives of children?

Ask us about fostering today.

The post Ofsted rate Eastern Fostering Services OUTSTANDING appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

I look at the clock. They are late. Nothing unusual as that. I fidget and find things to do with my restless hands. The clock hand moves so slowly. It always does. But here’s the thing, no matter how many children you have fostered, how many clocks you have watched, it is always unnerving waiting for a new child to arrive.

The fostering rollercoaster

Fostering certainly keeps you on your toes. The week leading up to my frenzy of bed making and cleaning has been a veritable loop-the-loop. It has involved reading through information on the child, thinking of what questions we need to ask, reading between the lines. There have been numerous phone calls with our placements manager at Eastern Fostering Services. In the background, I know a lot has happened to get me to the clock-watching point. At one point we didn’t think the plans to move this child here were going ahead. The Local Authority found a carer slightly closer to school and family. I am philosophical about this. A shorter journey to school and being closer to family has to be in the best interests of the child. I take a breath and let go of the child I have already invested in, thought about, planned for.

I am sent more potential matches. There are always more sadly. And then a phone call.

“The Local Authority would like to know if you’re still available for O?”

Child O.

The placements officer continues, “The carer has withdrawn her offer and they need to get O settled today. Are you still happy to take her?”

Yes, I am still happy to take her. My contact details are given to the Local Authority Social Worker. He calls me after lunch. O doesn’t yet know that plans have changed and that she is moving to a different carer, a bit further away. She will likely be told when the social worker picks her up from school to bring her here. Can you imagine? I ask him to show O our welcome book which has photos of us and the dogs. Pictures of the house and her new bedroom. For me, fostering in an imperfect system, it is important that I push for the best for the children, even if the best isn’t quite good enough.

I’m interrupted from my thoughts by the shrill ringing of the phone.

“We’re on our way. O is happy and is very excited to meet the dogs. See you in half an hour or so.”

Expecting the unexpected.

Like I said before, it doesn’t matter how many times I’ve waited for new children to arrive over the years I’ve been fostering. It is always a mix of emotions. Some nerves. Excitement. Trepidation. Are we going to gel? Give it time. Are there going to be any surprises? Behaviours that were not in the child’s information? Highly likely. Expect the unexpected. Will the child be scared, excited, hypervigilant? Will they be withdrawn, anxious or hyper and noisy. You know you can never predict this. Will they be too eager to please? Or will they get straight to the testing phase? A bit of both most likely depending on the day. Can I make this a happy home for them? You can certainly try.

I glance at the clock again. The doorbell goes. The opening bars to the song. They are here. I go to the door, pull it open and smile. My anxieties pushed away the moment I see her framed in my doorway.

“Come on in!” I say.

The post Musings of a foster carer – Waiting for the child to arrive appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

This time of being shut away

Has brought to mind the every day

The fragile joy, so quick to wane

Which glimmers softly in the mundane

The world has shrunk, it seems to strain

Against the pain it must contain

The children press their palms to glass

Interred with thoughts that cannot pass

But power lies within these walls

Its whisper louder than the squalls

You’ll find it in the side by side

Needle thin,  infinitely wide

It’s present in the sticky dough

In hands that knead and stretch and throw

A glimpse you’ll see in pungent soil

Where brand new shoots start to uncoil

It bubbles in the pancake batter

punctuates the aimless natter

screams softly from scarlet brushstrokes

gladdens in the golden egg yolks

A force that jostles in the board game

Nudging out all sense of shame

Winking in the silver foil

Sighing as the carrots boil

It’s in a splinter on soft flesh

Or threaded in a beaded mesh

It tinkles from the homemade charms

Head cocked proudly, folded arms

This, it says, is where you find

That thing rejoining body and mind

The healing balm that comes with touch

And deftly wipes away so much

It’s laid bare in the strengthing bonds

Rustling in the ribboned fronds

It’s woven in the silken plaits

Stands proud in homemade paper hats

It’s in the mundane every day

The things we thought they’d thrown away

It’s in the inner child that pleads

And weeps and laughs and shakes and bleeds

It’s in the brave attempts to teach

And there when tears begin to breach

The void between the old and new

Shards. Made whole. With grit and glue

It’s in the you, the them, the us

It’s in the quiet times and the fuss

In the calm and in the bluster

This is what it is to foster…..

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