What if the child doesn’t like me?

If this thought has crossed your mind, you are not alone. In fact, it’s one of the most common worries foster carers experience — especially at the beginning. And importantly, it does not mean you are unsuitable or unprepared. Quite the opposite.

Why This Worry Is So Common

At its heart, fostering is deeply relational. You are welcoming a child into your home, offering care, safety, and emotional presence — often to a child who has experienced loss, rejection, or trauma. Wanting that child to feel comfortable with you is a natural and human desire.

Foster carers may worry about:

• Being rejected or pushed away
• Not forming a bond quickly enough
• Failing to meet the child’s emotional needs
• Being compared to birth parents or previous carers

For many carers, this fear is also tied to pressure — the pressure to “get it right,” to help the child heal, and to be someone the child can trust. When you care deeply, it’s natural to fear falling short.

Understanding the Child’s Perspective

It can be helpful to reframe what “not liking you” might actually mean.

Children entering foster care are often overwhelmed. They may be confused, grieving, angry, scared, or emotionally shut down. Their behaviour is not a reflection of you as a carer — it is communication shaped by experiences they did not choose.

A child who appears distant, angry, or resistant may be:

• Protecting themselves from further loss
• Testing whether you are safe and consistent
• Mourning their family or familiar surroundings
• Feeling loyalty conflicts or guilt

In these moments, emotional withdrawal or challenging behaviour is not rejection — it is survival.

Connection Takes Time — and That’s Okay

Unlike traditional parenting narratives, foster care doesn’t always begin with instant warmth or affection. Attachment is not built through perfection or popularity; it is built through consistency.

Children learn to trust when they see that:

• You show up even when things are hard
• You remain calm during emotional storms
• You set boundaries while staying kind
• You don’t give up on them

Liking often comes after safety — not before it.

And sometimes, a child may never openly express fondness in the way you expect. That does not mean your care hasn’t mattered. For some children, stability itself is the gift.

Reassurance for Foster Carers

If you worry that a child might not like you, here are a few gentle truths to hold onto:

• You don’t need to be liked to make a difference.
  Your role is to provide safety, care, and consistency — not to win approval.
• A child’s behaviour is not a verdict on your worth.
  Rejection often reflects pain, not preference.
• There is no “right” way to be a foster carer.
  Authenticity, patience, and reliability matter far more than getting everything perfect.
• You are allowed to feel vulnerable.
  Caring deeply enough to worry means you are emotionally invested — and that is a strength.

What Helps When the Fear Creeps In

• Focus on being predictable, not impressive
• Celebrate small signs of trust, even if they’re subtle
• Lean on support networks — other carers, supervisors, or training groups
• Be kind to yourself on hard days

Above all, remember this: foster care is not about being instantly loved. It is about offering love without guarantees.

Final Thoughts

Many foster carers begin their journey worried about whether a child will like them. Over time, what often matters more is something quieter and deeper — that the child felt safe, respected, and cared for in your home.

And sometimes, long after the placement ends, that is when the appreciation finally appears.

Your presence matters more than you know.

The post Initial Worry No8 – What if the child doesn’t like me? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

That fear often turns into a belief that they need to be perfect.

Why the Pressure to Be Perfect Feels So Strong

New foster carers usually worry about perfection because they care. Many feel the weight of knowing that a child has already experienced loss, trauma, or instability. The idea of adding to that pain can cause concern.

There are a few common reasons perfectionism creeps in:

• Fear of causing further harm
  When a child has had a difficult start, carers can feel intense pressure to “fix everything” or at least not make anything worse.
• Being observed and assessed
  Social workers, reviews, reports, meetings — fostering can sometimes feel like your every move is under a microscope, especially at the beginning.
• Comparing yourself to others
  Experienced carers can seem calm, confident, and endlessly capable. It’s easy to forget they were once new too.
• A lack of room for mistakes in your own mind
  Many carers hold themselves to much higher standards than they would ever expect of anyone else.

All of this can leave new carers feeling anxious, concerned and constantly questioning themselves.

The Truth: Children Don’t Need Perfect Carers

Here’s the most important thing new foster carers need to hear:

Children don’t need perfection. They need connection.

Most children in care haven’t missed out on flawless routines or Pinterest-worthy bedrooms. What they have often missed is:

• Safety
• Consistency
• Being listened to
• Having their feelings taken seriously
• Someone who doesn’t give up when things are hard

These things don’t come from perfection. They come from being human.

Why “Good Enough” Is More Than Enough

Psychologists often talk about the idea of the “good enough” caregiver — someone who gets it right most of the time, and repairs things when they don’t. That repair is powerful.

When a foster carer says:

• “I’m sorry, I got that wrong.”
• “I didn’t handle that well — let’s try again.”
• “I’m still learning, but I’m here.”

…they are modelling healthy relationships. For many children, that’s a brand-new experience.

Mistakes don’t ruin trust. Ignoring them does.

Children Learn From Your Imperfections Too

Being a foster carer isn’t about being calm, patient, and wise 100% of the time. It’s about showing children that:

• Adults can have feelings and manage them safely
• Conflict doesn’t mean rejection
• Relationships can bend without breaking

Your imperfections can actually help a child feel safer, because perfection can feel distant and unrelatable.

You Are Not Doing This Alone

Another important reminder for new foster carers: you are part of a team. You’re not expected to know everything or handle everything by yourself.

Training, supervision, support workers, and other carers are there because fostering is complex — not because you’re failing.

Asking for help isn’t a sign you’re not cut out for fostering. It’s a sign you are taking it seriously.

What Really Matters

At the end of the day, what children in care remember isn’t whether you always said the right thing or followed every plan flawlessly.

They remember:

• How you made them feel when they were upset
• Whether you came back after a hard day
• Whether your home felt safe, even when life felt messy

So, if you’re a new foster carer worrying about being perfect, take a breath. You don’t need to be flawless.

You just need to be present, willing, and kind — to the child, and to yourself.

And that is already more than enough

The post Initial worry No.6 – Putting pressure on myself to be perfect. appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

The truth is that while family time can be emotional and sometimes unpredictable, it is also hugely beneficial for the child — and foster carers play a key role in making it a positive experience.

Why Family Time Matters

Even when children cannot live with their birth parents, maintaining relationships helps them stay connected to their identity, family, and community. Regular contact can:

• Support emotional wellbeing
• Help children understand their story and heritage
• Strengthen sibling relationships
• Reduce feelings of loss or confusion
• Build resilience and trust

Family time is not just a “nice to have” — it is an essential part of a child’s development and stability.

The Realities of Supporting Family Time

Family time can look very different depending on the child, their age, and their family situation. Some realities carers might face include:

• Emotional highs and lows: Children may feel excited before a visit and upset afterward, particularly younger children or those with complex trauma.
• Behavioural changes: Some children may act out, be clingy, or withdraw after contact.
• Practical challenges: Visits can involve travel, coordinating schedules, or supervising interactions, sometimes at short notice.
• Complex family dynamics: There may be tension, conflict, or difficult interactions during visits.

It’s normal to feel apprehensive — many carers do. These experiences can be challenging, but they are also opportunities to support the child’s growth and resilience.

Why Carers Shouldn’t Worry

Despite the challenges, research and experience show that supporting family time has long-term benefits for children and placements. Here’s why:

1. Children benefit emotionally

Even if a visit is difficult or emotional, children feel safer and more secure when carers support family connections. It helps them understand that their feelings are normal and valid.

2. Carers are supported

Social workers, supervising social workers, and contact centre staff provide guidance, support, and strategies for managing family time. Carers never have to navigate this alone.

3. It strengthens placement trust

Children learn that their foster carer is on their side, supporting them through both joyful and challenging moments. This builds attachment and trust within the foster home.

4. Upset is often temporary

Emotional reactions after visits are normal. With reassurance, routine, and comfort, children adapt and develop coping skills over time.

Practical Tips for Carers

• Prepare the child: Explain who they will see, where they are going, and how long it will last.
• Debrief afterwards: Allow the child to talk about their feelings without pressure.
• Keep routines: Familiar routines before and after contact help children feel secure.
• Stay neutral and supportive: Avoid criticism of the birth family and validate the child’s emotions.
• Seek guidance: Social workers can help manage logistics, supervise visits if needed, and offer advice on challenging situations.

The Rewarding Side of Family Time

While it can be emotional and sometimes unpredictable, supporting family time is one of the most meaningful aspects of fostering. It allows carers to:

• Witness children maintain important relationships
• Celebrate growth and resilience
• Play an active role in helping children feel loved and supported

Conclusion

Family time can be challenging — and that’s okay. Feeling apprehensive doesn’t mean you’re failing as a foster carer. With preparation, support, and empathy, carers can help children maintain vital family connections while providing the love and stability they need.

The post Initial Worry No5 – Managing children’s family time appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

It’s a completely natural worry. Opening your home to a child in care is already a big decision — the idea of constant visits, paperwork, and scrutiny can easily feel overwhelming. But the truth is far more balanced, and countless foster carers say that the support around them becomes a comfort, not a disruption.

Let’s break down what this really looks like.

Why It Feels Like a Goldfish Bowl at First

When a child first comes to live with you, there is naturally a period of settling in. Social workers want to make sure the child is safe, happy, and adjusting well — and they also want to check that you feel supported.

During these early stages, you may have:

• Your supervising social worker popping in regularly
• The child’s social worker visiting to see how they’re settling
• Occasional meetings or phone calls

For new carers, this can feel like a lot. You’re getting used to fostering, the child is adapting, and everyone wants to make sure things are going smoothly. It’s perfectly okay to feel self-conscious or “observed” during this phase.

What Most Carers Discover: It Settles Down

Once the placement stabilises, life changes. Suddenly you’re not in a goldfish bowl — you’re in a team.

Visits reduce, routines form, and things begin to feel like normal family life. Many carers find that after a while, visits are simply:

• A chance to talk openly about how things are going
• A moment to get support and advice
• A helpful check-in rather than an interruption

Far from feeling intrusive, these visits often become something carers welcome — especially on the tougher days.

Being Observed Isn’t About Judging You

Another important thing to remember is this:
Professionals aren’t coming to judge your home, your parenting, or your private life.

Their focus is the child’s wellbeing and your wellbeing as a carer. Visits are supportive, not critical. They’re there to help, not catch you out. And they’ve seen every kind of home, every kind of family, and every kind of challenge — yours won’t shock them.

If something isn’t perfect (and let’s be honest, whose home is?) that’s okay. Fostering isn’t about perfection. It’s about providing safety, warmth, and reliability.

You Won’t Be Handling Everything Alone

Picture it this way:
Instead of feeling like you’re living in a glass bowl, you can start to see it as living with a support network.

You’re not observed — you’re supported.
You’re not judged — you’re guided.
You’re not alone — you’re part of a community.

Fostering can be demanding and knowing you have people to turn to isn’t a burden; it’s a lifeline. When a school issue comes up, or behaviour is challenging, or you’re simply having a tough week, those “goldfish bowl” people are often the ones who make all the difference.

What Experienced Foster Carers Say

Many carers look back and say things like:

• “I was worried about all the visits, but now I’m glad someone checks in on us.”
• “It doesn’t feel intrusive at all — it’s just part of the routine.”
• “Once the child settled, the visits were quick and easy.”
• “I actually like knowing someone is always there if I need help.”

If You’re Worried, You’re Not Alone

Almost every foster carer has felt this way. It’s a very normal concern, but it’s one that doesn’t tend to last once you’re actually fostering. Support fades into the background of everyday life, and what once felt intimidating quickly becomes reassuring.

Final Thoughts

Fostering doesn’t mean letting the world into your private life.
It means partnering with people who care about the child as much as you do.

The visits that feel daunting right now often become the thing that keeps carers going — and helps children thrive.

If you’re considering fostering and this worry is holding you back, please remember:
You won’t be watched. You’ll be supported. And you’ll never be doing it on your own.

The post Initial Worry No4 – Does Fostering Mean Living in a Goldfish Bowl? Understanding the Reality Behind the Worry appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

One of the most common fears people share with us is:

“What if I’m not confident enough?”
“What if it’s too difficult and I can’t cope?”

If you’ve ever had those thoughts, you’re in very good company. The truth is:
nearly every foster carer has felt that way before they started.

No one begins as an expert

Foster carers aren’t born confident.
Confidence grows with experience, support and small everyday wins.

Carers frequently tell us:

• “I worried I wouldn’t know what to do — but the training prepared me.”
• “I thought I’d need all the answers — but I learned along the way.”
• “I expected it to be overwhelming — but the support made all the difference.”

Just like parenting, fostering is something you grow into.

There will be challenges — but you won’t face them alone

Fostering can be emotional and sometimes demanding. Children come with their own histories, worries and needs.
But you are never expected to handle that alone.

At Eastern Fostering Services, carers have:

A dedicated supervising social worker
24/7 support line
Ongoing training and workshops
Peer support from other carers
Access to therapeutic services and professionals

There is always someone you can call, ask, or lean on.

Many carers say the support they receive is what transforms uncertainty into confidence.

Children don’t need perfection — they need stability

Some people fear they won’t be:

• patient enough
• skilled enough
• experienced enough
• “strong” enough

But children in foster care are not looking for perfection.
They need kindness.
They need routine.
They need someone who shows up.

They need a home where they feel safe — not a home where someone knows everything.

Training helps you build confidence before a child arrives

You’ll learn about:

• behaviour and trauma
• how to manage tough moments
• communication and boundaries
• supporting education
• understanding emotions

You’ll never be thrown in at the deep end.

Every carer has moments of doubt — that’s normal

Some weeks will feel easy.
Some days will be challenging.
And there will be times you wonder, “Am I doing this right?”

Those thoughts don’t mean you’re failing — they mean you care.

Many carers who once doubted themselves now say things like:

“I nearly talked myself out of fostering because I didn’t think I could do it.
But now I can’t imagine my life any other way.”

“It’s been challenging at times, but watching a child grow in confidence — that makes every moment worth it.”

Fostering changes lives — including your own

Seeing a child:

• join a sports team
• make a friend
• learn to trust
• laugh again
• achieve something they didn’t think they could

…brings a kind of pride that’s hard to describe.

Most foster carers say that any difficult days are outweighed by the joy, progress and connection they share with the children in their care.

If you care enough to worry — you’re already the kind of person who could foster

The fact that you’re concerned about doing a good job shows empathy, responsibility and self-awareness — all qualities that make a great foster carer.

You don’t need to be confident today.
You just need to be willing to learn, ask for help, and give a child a chance.

And we’ll walk beside you every step.

Thinking about fostering?

If confidence is holding you back, reach out.
Talk to us.
Ask questions.
Meet other carers who once felt exactly as you do now.

At Eastern Fostering Services, we believe strong foster carers are not the ones who never doubt themselves — but the ones who show up anyway.

If you’d like to chat to our team, hear more from carers, or ask anything at all, we’re here to help.

The post Initial worry No3 – “What If I’m Not Confident Enough to Be a Foster Carer? Will it be too difficult” appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

“Will I need to ask permission for everything?”

It’s totally understandable. Fostering involves a child or young person who is looked-after by the local authority, so it can feel like you might need to phone someone for every little decision — “Can they go to a friend’s house?”, “Can they go on a school trip?” etc.

But here’s the reassuring reality.

Carers are trusted to make everyday parenting decisions

Fostering isn’t about being micromanaged. It’s about giving children a safe, stable, normal home life.

The guidance on delegated authority (which governs decision-making in foster care) makes clear that day-to-day decisions should normally be delegated to the foster carer wherever appropriate.

So, you will be able to decide things like:

• Routines: bedtimes, screen time, what the child wears
• Hobbies, after-school clubs, school trips (within agreed guidelines)
• Haircuts, purchasing clothes, everyday health appointments
• Holidays within the UK, day trips, social activities

The aim is that children do not feel stymied by bureaucracy but can enjoy childhood just like their peers. Whilst it is of course practical and sensible for day-to-day decisions to be made by the foster carer, if it is planned that children might return to live with their parents, we would advise sensitivity when it comes to certain things, for example, if a child has always had their hair cut in a certain way, it might be nice to consult with parents if the child wants a big change-it’s always wise to put yourselves in their shoes, and think about the things you’d like to know about.

Support and clarity from the outset

Before a child is placed, we help ensure you’ll have clear information about which decisions you can make, and which may require additional input. There is always an initial meeting that takes place when a child first joins your family, called a Placement Meeting (or shortly thereafter) and this is where a Placement Plan is drawn up, which records who can make what decisions.

So, you’ll know:

• What decisions you can confidently say yes to
• What you’ll need to check or consult on
• Who to contact if you’re uncertain

You’re never left to guess — you have backing, supervision and a framework.

When you’ll need permission (or more formal agreement)

There are some decisions that still involve the local authority or someone with parental responsibility. For example:

• Trips overseas or extended travel abroad
• Major medical treatment or surgery
• Change of school in some circumstances

These are more significant than everyday parenting decisions, so they require formal consent or legal responsibility decisions.

But even then, you are not alone: your supervising social worker, the local authority and the placement team support the process.

Many carers find this worry disappears quickly

Once the child is settled, and you have the Placement Plan in place, carers often tell us the bulk of their previous concern falls away:

“I worried I’d be asking permission every time we left the house — but it’s nothing like that. We just get on with family life and check in when something is big.”
“We didn’t realise how much trust we’d be given. We’re their safe home — of course we’re trusted to make decisions.”

In short, you are the parent-figure in day-to-day life for the child — making the decisions a parent would — not waiting for permission at every turn.

Our goal: Everyday life for children in our care

At Eastern Fostering Services we believe children thrive when their home life is as normal as possible. That means:

• Friends’ birthday parties
• After-school clubs
• Summer holidays
• Spontaneous weekend outings
• A warm, loving home where decisions are made with confidence

We’ll ensure you feel informed, supported and empowered in your role.

Thinking of fostering and this worry is on your mind?

If this is something you’ve thought about, you’re absolutely not alone — it’s one of the most common worries among new carers, and one of the quickest to fade once placement begins.

With training, supervision, and clear guidance, you’ll always know where you stand — and you’ll have the freedom to create the kind of safe, loving home that children deserve.

If you’d like to talk more to our team at Eastern Fostering Services, ask questions, or hear from carers who felt the same at the beginning — we’re here to support you.

The post Initial worry No2 – Will I need to ask permission for everything? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

Why This Worry Happens

It’s completely natural to feel a bit anxious when someone is visiting your home, asking questions, or observing how you interact with a child. Many foster carers want to do everything “right,” and the thought of a professional evaluating their parenting can feel intimidating.
You might worry that your home isn’t perfect, that your parenting style will be criticised, or that one mistake could reflect badly on your ability to care for a child. These fears often come from a place of wanting to do your very best — and that’s something to be proud of.

The Reality: Social Workers Are There to Support You

While it can sometimes feel like you’re under a microscope, social workers aren’t there to judge or catch you out. Their role is to support, guide, and empower foster carers so they can provide the best possible care for children. Social workers understand that fostering is both rewarding and challenging, and that every carer will have questions and moments of uncertainty along the way.

They expect you to need help — that’s part of the process. In fact, being honest and open with your social worker helps them understand what kind of support you might need, whether that’s practical advice, emotional reassurance, or extra training.

Building a Partnership Based on Trust

A good relationship with your social worker is built on trust and communication. When you share your concerns or ask for help, you’re showing that you’re committed to doing your best — not that you’re failing. Social workers appreciate carers who are reflective, self-aware, and willing to learn. These qualities make for stronger, more confident foster families.

You’re on the Same Team

Ultimately, both you and your social worker share the same goal: to make sure the child in your care feels safe, supported, and loved. You’re not being tested — you’re part of a partnership that works together to achieve that goal. So, if you ever find yourself worrying about being judged, remember that your social worker is on your side. They’re not looking for perfection — they’re looking for passion, patience, and a willingness to grow.

The post Initial Worry No1 – Being judged by my Social Worker appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

 Welcome to the Team, Jodie!

We’re delighted to welcome Jodie to our team this month as a Supervising Social Worker. Jodie brings a wealth of experience, having worked with children in care, managed social care safeguarding referrals for children in Essex, and supported young people in both supported housing and drug and alcohol rehabilitation services. Her passion for supporting children and families shines through, and we’re so pleased to have her join us. Welcome, Jodie!

Star of the Month – T

A huge congratulations to T, who has received 10 positive behaviour referrals in school this month! T is doing brilliantly across several of her classes, and we’re so proud of her progress and attitude. Keep up the amazing work, T – you’re a superstar!

 New Carers – Welcome Tiffany and Martin

This month, we also extend a warm welcome to our new foster carers, Tiffany and Martin. We’re thrilled to have you join our fostering family and look forward to supporting you on your fostering journey.

Halloween Fun

Our annual Halloween Party was a spooktacular success! From pumpkin carving and ghost keyring crafts to face painting, fancy dress, and cupcake decorating, there was something for everyone to enjoy. The creativity (and costumes!) were outstanding — thank you to everyone who joined in the fun and helped make it such a fantastic event.

 Learning & Development

This month, our carers and staff took part in Sexualised Behaviour Training, delivered by our in-house therapist Michelle. The session provided valuable insight and strategies for supporting children and young people with understanding, sensitivity, and confidence. Thank you, Michelle, for leading such an informative and engaging session.

Celebrating S’s Achievement

We’re so proud of S (aged 9), who took part in the Panathlon Swimming Challenge with her school this month. The event helps young people with disabilities and special needs build confidence and water skills. S worked so hard and earned herself a well-deserved medal – what a fantastic achievement! Well done, S!

Jason’s Incredible Challenge

A huge round of applause for our wonderful foster carer Jason, who completed a 10K run every day for 28 days this month! Jason has already raised an amazing £2,500 to help fund a website that will promote fostering and raise awareness of the need for more carers. What an inspiring effort – well done, Jason!

 Celebrating Children of Foster Carers Week

This month we took time to celebrate the birth children of our fostering families – the unsung heroes of fostering. Their kindness, patience, empathy, and generosity make a world of difference. Thank you for sharing your families, your homes, and your hearts – you truly help change lives.

 Support Group

Our latest carer support group was hosted by El and Sandra, focusing on carers’ worries and how we can best support them – particularly around the challenges and emotions that come when a placement ends. It was a safe, open, and supportive space, and we’re so grateful to everyone who took part and shared their experiences.

Looking Ahead

As we head into November, we’re excited to continue celebrating our young people and carers, offering more training, support, and fun events to bring our fostering community together. Thank you to everyone who makes our agency such a special place – together, we make a difference every day.

The post October News & Highlights 🎃 appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

For many families, fostering is an incredibly rewarding experience, but it also brings changes that can be deeply felt by everyone, including your own children. Understanding what it’s like to be a foster sibling can help you prepare, support your family, and make the fostering experience as positive as possible for everyone involved.

The Positives: How Fostering Can Enrich Your Children’s Lives

1. Building Empathy and Compassion

Fostering offers children a powerful lesson in empathy. They see firsthand that not all children have had the same start in life, and they learn to appreciate the difference that love, patience, and understanding can make. Many parents say their children develop greater emotional intelligence and kindness through fostering — qualities that stay with them for life.

2. Forming Meaningful Relationships

Foster siblings often develop strong bonds with the children who come into their home. These relationships can be full of laughter, shared experiences, and new perspectives. Even when placements are temporary, the memories can leave a lasting impact, teaching children that family isn’t only about biology — it’s about care and connection.

3. Appreciating Stability and Family

Through fostering, your children may come to value their own family life in new ways. Seeing the challenges their foster sibling has faced often helps them recognise the importance of safety, belonging, and support — and it can strengthen their appreciation for their own home environment.

4. Developing Responsibility and Maturity

Fostering can bring out a new sense of maturity in children. They learn flexibility, patience, and how to adapt to change. Whether it’s helping a new sibling feel included or understanding when parents’ attention is divided, these experiences can help children grow into more considerate and resilient young people.

The Challenges: What Children Might Struggle With

1. Adjusting to Change

When a foster child joins the family, routines and dynamics can shift. Your children will need to share their home and time — and that can be hard. Preparing them in advance, and giving them a voice in the process, can make these transitions smoother.

2. Feeling Overlooked or Left Out

In the early weeks of a placement, foster parents often need to focus extra attention on helping the new child settle in. It’s natural for your biological children to feel a little pushed aside or unsure of their place. Setting aside dedicated one-on-one time and checking in about their feelings can help them feel secure and valued.

3. Coping with Difficult Behaviour

Some foster children come from backgrounds where trust, consistency, or appropriate behaviour were not modelled. This can be confusing for your children, especially if they don’t understand why their new sibling acts out. Honest, age-appropriate conversations about trauma and patience can help them make sense of these situations.

4. Managing Goodbyes

Perhaps the hardest part of fostering for many families is saying goodbye. When a foster child leaves — whether returning to their birth family or moving to another placement — your children might feel a real sense of loss. Encouraging them to express their emotions, make memory boxes, or keep in touch (where appropriate) can help them process those feelings in a healthy way.

How Parents Can Support Their Foster Siblings

Your children’s experience as foster siblings will depend largely on the communication, understanding, and reassurance you provide. Here are some ways to support them along the way:

• Be open and honest: Talk about what fostering means, why your family is doing it, and what changes to expect.
• Involve them in decisions: Ask for their input when possible — even small things like helping set up a bedroom can help them feel part of the process.
• Make time for them: Protect moments of normal family life and one-on-one time.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Reassure them that all emotions — excitement, jealousy, sadness — are valid.
• Celebrate their role: Recognise that being a foster sibling is an act of kindness and generosity in itself.

Final Thoughts

Being a foster sibling can be one of the most enriching experiences of childhood — but it’s also one that comes with real emotional demands. As parents, understanding this balance helps you prepare your family for both the joy and the challenges that fostering can bring.

When children feel supported, informed, and included, fostering doesn’t just change the life of the child who joins your home — it strengthens your entire family.

The post What It’s Like Being a Foster Sibling: The Joys and the Challenges for Families to Consider appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

But with September comes a return to school runs, packed lunches and the familiar buzz of routine. We’re so proud of all our children for settling back in so brilliantly — a huge well done to you all, but a special mention to T, who has received SEVEN positive referrals for academic achievement in lessons

This month we also had the pleasure of welcoming not one, but two new supervising social workers to the team. A very warm welcome to Sue and Sam — we’re delighted to have you join the EFS family!

Training & Learning

September has been a busy month for training too:

• Preparation to Foster Course
  We hosted our two-day course for potential new carers, giving an honest and open insight into fostering — the highs, the challenges, and everything in between. From real-life case studies to a session on attachment and development, plus a Q&A with some of our amazing carers, it was a truly valuable couple of days. Thank you to everyone who attended — we hope it gave you plenty of food for thought!

Careapy Training
Our therapist Michelle led another brilliant Careapy session. It is designed not only to help carers understand and cope with the children they look after, but also to emphasise the importance of self-care and self-knowledge, which improves carer well-being and as a result, equips the carer to better support their children and young people.

Star of the Month

This month’s star is K — for starting secondary school with such confidence and completing every bit of homework with a smile. Your positive attitude is inspiring — keep it up!

A Special Shout-Out

We’d also like to give a huge cheer to our wonderful foster carer Jason, who is taking on an incredible challenge: running 10K every day for 28 days! Jason is raising funds to create a professional website and podcast to shine a light on fostering and share its many stories. What an amazing effort! If you’d like to support Jason’s challenge, you can donate here: GoFundMe Link.

Here’s to a great start to autumn — we can’t wait to see what October brings!

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