At this time of year many people begin to re- evaluate and start to think about a change of direction, perhaps hoping to pursue a role which will bring more meaning and satisfaction to their lives. If you have ever thought about fostering, 2022 could be the time to pursue a new and rewarding vocation which could help change the life of a child for the better and bring you associated rewards.

With the numbers of children in care significantly increasing (now over 80,000 in England according to Government statistics) we need more caring and compassionate foster carers who can welcome children into their homes and provide them with the warmth and support they deserve. Whilst fostering is not always an easy task and requires time, patience, understanding and resilience it can equally bring huge emotional rewards for both the children and their foster parents.

There is no one-size-fits-all in fostering and we are happy to accept applications from all sectors of the community. Likewise, we try to carefully match children to suit your family circumstances and skills.

Here are some of the different types of fostering you might consider –

Short term/ Task centred Fostering

These arrangements are usually planned whilst assessments are undertaken by the Local Authority to work towards reunification with family or an alternative permanent placement. This means a child can be placed in foster care for a short period or for several months pending the outcome of assessments.

Emergency Fostering

A child requires a foster placement at short notice, usually for a few days, until alternative plans are made.

Respite Fostering

A child who is already in foster care may be placed with another foster carer for short periods. Sometimes children with additional needs who live with birth family may also need respite to enable families to get rest and support.

Long term/Permanency

When a child cannot return home and adoption is not an option, they will be placed with a foster family who can offer them security until adulthood and beyond.

Other Specialist types of Fostering include

Parent and Child Fostering

Assessment based placements for a parent and their infant where the foster carer provides a positive parenting role model, guidance, and support.

Bridging to Adoption

The foster parent supports and prepares a child for adoption

Fostering Asylum Seeking young people

Unaccompanied young people who have come to the UK to escape war and conflict in their home countries are housed and supported by a foster carer until they are ready to live independently.

If you think you could make a positive difference to a child’s life by providing a loving home in 2022 please contact us for more information . We provide our foster carers with excellent training, support and allowances and if you are ready to make the change we will be with you every step of the way in your new fostering career.

You can contact us at team@easternfosteringservices.com, call us on 01206 299775, send us a message or message us on Facebook. You can also find lots of useful information on our website.

The post New year, new role? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

For many children, Christmas is a magical time. They are at fever pitch over the sparkling lights, the decorations, sweets and presents, and the prospect of Father Christmas. Christmas consolidates that feeling of being loved and safe in the heart of a family who is in celebratory mood.

But for many children and young people living in foster care, Christmas is a really difficult time.

A darker side of Christmas.

The traditions that so define this time of year can act as triggers for children in foster care who have had adverse childhood experiences. These triggers could be anything from the sight and smell of alcohol to loud music or noises, laughter and booming voices. Sensorial experiences like these can remind children of previous abuse or neglect or of traumatic events that have happened at this time of year.

Equally, everywhere you look you find images of Christmas being about family: happy, cosy households. Children in foster care are faced with the enormity of their loss or the contrast of their own situation. This can lead to feelings of grief, anger, frustration and resentment.

Most children who have experienced adverse childhood events will experience some form of stress response to this in the long term. They may find it hard to regulate their emotions and be in constant fight, flight or freeze mode. The triggers, memories and sense of loss that Christmas can bring will often force these coping strategies to the fore. For foster carers this can make Christmas very tricky indeed.

When you foster, Christmas comes hand-in-hand with family contact. Contact between children and their birth families can be complex for both children and carers at the best of times. Young people need a good deal of support to manage family contact, the emotions it can throw up and the repercussions afterwards. Much family contact is positive and is in the best interests of the child yet nonetheless it can serve as a reminder of what is lost or not yet possible.

Fostering the Christmas spirit. How can I support my child?

Good fostering is always child-led. Every family has their own, unique Christmas traditions and children will come to Christmas with their own expectations and schemas.

• Spend some time speaking with your foster child. Try to understand what Christmas is/was like for them at home, if appropriate. Do this sensitively and choose your moment well. This could help you contextualise and manage any emotional fallout. It may also help you to predict some triggers.
• Get your foster child involved. Could you introduce new traditions? Are there things your child would want included on the day? It’s important at this time of year that children and young people feel they have some control over what happens.
• Try to manage everyone’s expectations. Talk about what will happen on the day and keep it simple. Christmas can be overwhelming and over-stimulating and knowing what to expect can really help. The temptation can be to try and create “the best Christmas ever” but this can put inordinate pressure on the child and on carers.
• A safe and calm space. For children who experience stress responses over the period, it can really help to think about sensory overload and how to “calm the mind.” Could you use more soft lighting? Introduce aromatherapy? Invest in soft, cosy blankets. Could you introduce quiet time into the celebrations?
• Introduce activities to ground your foster child. For those who may dissociate or go into “freeze” mode, you might want to consider activities to ground children and connect them to the moment. Christmas offers a great opportunity here to do those activities which help such as crafts, cooking or writing. These activities also enable children to contribute to Christmas in a tangible and visible way.
• A flexible Christmas. Flexibility is important when fostering, whether this is around contact, activities or running order on the day, maintaining flexibility will help give the period the best chance of success.
• Make sure you are realistic. Setting expectations too high can leave everyone feeling disappointed by the reality of Christmas. It is ok to keep things low-key. Equally, it is normal to see tantrums and meltdowns. Family life does not necessarily know it’s Christmas! Go easy on yourselves.
• Don’t be afraid to seek support. If you are struggling and need help or advice, seek out support. This could be from your support network but more importantly from your supervising social worker, who will be able to offer ideas and a listening ear.

How do Eastern Fostering Services support carers at Christmas?

We know that Christmas can be a really challenging time for foster carers and that often you enter it with some trepidation. We spend a good deal of time thinking about how we best support our families at this time.

• 24/7 phone support. There will always be someone on the end of the phone to give you guidance and to help with any problems or concerns. Because we are a small team, we all know our carers and children very well so you will never need to relay your life history to us amid a crisis. Sometimes you just need a friendly voice and a bit of reassurance, and we can offer that whenever it is needed.
• We spend time with carers and children. We always take time to visit carers and to spend time with the children and young people they care for. In the run up to Christmas, we tend to do even more of this. Recently, one of our social workers did a bit of Christmas decoupage with some of our young people. This allowed them to speak freely whilst doing a grounding and creative activity and went down really well.

• Children and young people can also contact us over the period.
• Training. Lots of the techniques that carers will have to draw on over Christmas are covered in the training that we offer. Understanding what is driving behaviour and how best to tackle it and to de-escalate helps foster carers enter the season with confidence and reassurance. During these times, we have been offering a wide range of training on these subjects via our online training hub.
• Festive treats. A small thing maybe, but we like to give our carers and the children a treat over Christmas. We want them all to know they are loved, valued and greatly appreciated.

If you would like more information on Eastern Fostering services, there is lots of useful information on our website, or you can get in touch with us via our Facebook page. If you are already a foster carer and are looking to transfer fostering provider, do get in touch.

The post Fostering at Christmas appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

Faultless matching is difficult for many reasons, perhaps the greatest being that you can’t foresee character dynamics until foster carers and children are living together day in, day out. However, having a robust and thorough matching process allows Eastern Fostering Services to give things the best possible chance.

What are the principles that allow for good fostering matches?

At Eastern Fostering Services, our fostering matching process hinges on some key principles:

• Understanding our foster carers and their families
• Being as well-informed as possible when it comes to the needs of the children
• Anticipating practical considerations and obstacles before the child is placed
• Where possible, working hard to ensure the child is prepared as well as possible for the move
• Supporting our foster carers
• Communicating well with other fostering professionals

Understanding our foster carers

Eastern Fostering Services takes time to understand the unique circumstances, needs and expectations of each foster carer. Upon approval, every foster carer will have a conversation with the fostering placements manager. They will discuss what the carers feel would work well within their family dynamic. They will seek to understand the characters and needs of any birth children. Foster carers can be open about their levels of comfort around behaviours, age ranges, gender or care requirements for the children we look after. Foster carers will also be able to discuss the practical elements such as working arrangements and logistical or practical considerations.

These conversations help us to understand what sort of factors would make poor matches and enable us to refine the positive matching criteria. We do this by sharing anonymised referrals with foster carers and seeking their feedback. What were the positive points? Were there any behaviours described with which you felt uncomfortable? If you were considering this child, what additional questions would you have? What additional information do you feel you’d need? This helps foster carers pick out the most relevant information to them when considering future child referrals and gives them the freedom and encouragement to ask any questions.

Digging deeper

The quality of fostering child referrals that we receive varies greatly. “Good” referrals give a depth of information on the child’s history. This helps us to understand the level of trauma and loss a child has experienced and can help us foresee and mitigate potential challenges. Strong referrals will communicate the wishes and feelings of the child. For us, this is really important, as we would never knowingly promote a match that went against the needs or wants of the child. Ensuring children are listened to and understood is vital in building fruitful fostering families.

Referrals should also detail arrangements for contact with birth family, education, health and additional emotional needs or provision.

When we feel there is not sufficient information detailed in the referral, we will speak to the child’s social worker and spend time understanding the child and their unique circumstances. We always keep a record of these conversations so that we can advocate for the children once they are placed with our foster carers.

The practical elements

There are a great many practical considerations when it comes to fostering and when matching children and carers:

• How frequent is family contact?
• Where does this take place?
• Is contact supervised?
• Where is the school or education provision?
• Can the foster carer transport them?
• If not, can we make alternative arrangements?
• Are there regular health appointments and where are these?
• What therapeutic input is there and how can we support or enhance this?
• Are there any locations where the child is not safe to be placed?
• Can they live with pets?
• Can they live with other children?

We aim to identify these practical considerations before putting foster carers forward. Where there are obvious obstacles, we will work with the Local Authorities to agree solutions.

Preparing the child

We’re limited in what we can do to prepare children for such a momentous move because this is really the domain of the child’s social worker. However, we do work hard with Local Authorities to promote introductions between foster carers and children, and we do provide as much information as possible about our foster carers, including a child-friendly welcome book which the social worker can share with the child.

Sometimes, children are moved in an emergency. A match may be agreed, and the child move in on the same day. We will go to every effort to understand the child’s likes and dislikes so at the very least the foster carer can ensure that the child’s first meal is a firm favourite!

Supporting our carers

Welcoming a new child can be an anxious time for foster carers. From the very beginning of the matching process, the Eastern Fostering Services team communicates with foster carers, seeks to understand their worries and to be as responsive as possible. Information is relayed openly and honestly with carers and any resulting worries are heard and responded to.

The foster carers’ supervising social worker will be there with the foster carers when the child arrives, unless this is not possible in the event of an emergency move. Where it is not possible, one of the team will always check in on the carer when the child arrives and on the following day. Supervising social workers will be present at all placement planning meetings and will advocate on behalf of the carers and children.

Accessing consistent and comprehensive support is a must for foster carers and it is something we feel we do very well at Eastern Fostering Services.

Perhaps you foster already and do not feel you are getting this support? If so, please get in touch with us or email us at team@easternfosteringservices.com, contact us via facebook or you can call us on 01206 299775.

If you would like to find out more about fostering, you can contact using the details above. We’d be delighted to hear from you!

The post How does Eastern Fostering Services match children and foster carers? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

The age guidelines for fostering state that a foster carer needs to be above the age of 21, these guidelines tend to be set by individual fostering providers so it is always worth checking. It’s important to know that there are actually no legal limits set on age, so in theory anyone over the age of 18 can foster. There is no upper age limit for fostering.

When assessing people’s capacity to foster, what is more important than age is the life experience that a propsective foster carer can bring to the table. If a fostering provider rejects an application to foster from a young adult over the age of 18, they need to explain and justfy their reasons for doing so.

I’m over 60; is that not too old to foster?

There are many amazing foster carers who fall into the 60-70 year-old age group. Foster carers who are older have a wealth of experience and can offer so much to a child. What’s more, children and young people often relate and respond to older carers very well. Many children and young people tell us that some of the most important and positive relationships in their lives have been with grandparents, and this can set the process of bonding and trust-building off to an excellent start for child and carer alike.

Numbers don’t interest us, you do!

As long as you’re fit, healthy and have the physical and emotional capacity to foster, we really don’t mind how old you are.

We’re far more interested in how you could make a difference in the life of a child. In short, we’re more interested in your experiences, skills and personal qualities than we are in the number of years it took you to gain them.

What are the qualities you look for in foster carers?

We know that the children who come through our door are a varied group. They are all shapes and sizes. They come from all backgrounds. They have all manner of emotional, educational, physical and spiritual needs. They have their own likes and dislikes. They have a whole range of talents and potential. Why should our foster carers be any different?

We need a variety of carers from all genders, ethnicities, religions, and sexuality. We need this variety in order to be able to make the best matches for the diverse children we care for. Matching children and foster carers well gives the fostering relationship the best opportunity of flourishing which brings positive outcomes for the children and rewarding fostering to the carers.

The best carers are those who are able to provide attuned care to children and young people. This requires a high degree of emotional intelligence, empathy, warmth and commitment. A foster carer needs to be able to put themselves snugly in the shoes of the children they are caring for.

Foster carers have to work with a range of professionals who are there to support the child. Therefore it is critical that foster carers are able to communicate and work well with others. Having experience of working as part of a team is useful in this regard. Communication is central to fostering, not just with professionals but with the children themselves.

Having experience of caring for or working with children is another very useful quality to have. It may be that you have raised your own children, step children or been involved with your grandchildren. It may be that you work with children in your professional life or as a volunteer.

But without doubt the most important thing we look for in a foster carer is authenticity. You must have a sincere and deep-rooted desire to positively change the life of a child. To be that person who stands by them and supports them, who advocates for them and who understands them. Without this desire, fostering will be very difficult to sustain (and also the children will sniff you out immediately!).

So, you see, it’s really not about age at all. Fostering is about who you are, what you bring and why.

If you’d like to foster and wish to talk to us further, you can contact us via our website, Facebook page or email at team@easternfosteringservices.com You can also check out some of our short videos on YouTube which cover some of the many questions we get asked about fostering.

If you would like to speak to us, you can call us on 01206 299775.

The post Am I too old to foster? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

One of the benefits of growing up in a stable family is that when you reach 18, you have a safe base from which to explore your options. Many young people undergo great change at 18. They may start a new job, get an apprenticeship, go to university or move out of home for the first time. Yet many of these young people enjoy the safety net of a home to return to should all not go as planned.

For many young people who have spent time in foster care, this safety net is not there. All the usual anxieties around reaching adulthood and how that’s going to pan out are exacerbated which can be overwhelming in the extreme.

There are a few options for the young people after fostering. They may wish or need to live independently and should be supported to do so by the Local Authority “Leaving care” team. They may go into semi-independent living or Supported Lodgings. Of course, independent living is not always all it is cracked up to be, particularly if you don’t have the emotional toolkit to cope with it. Young people leaving foster care really benefit from a continued relationship with their foster carers who can act as a support to them.

Many young people opt to move back with birth family at this age. This can be difficult for all concerned and stands the best chance of success if the young person has a good support network around them. Young people who have enjoyed a good relationship with their foster carer can continue to draw on this support post 18. This presence of a positive and reliable adult in a young person’s life can make all the difference and is ultimately the mark of successful fostering. It is important to note that this is a life stage during which many young people fall through the gaps.

There is a more formal way to ensure that young people continue to be nurtured and supported once they are 18 and leave foster care. This is called a Staying Put arrangement.

What is Staying Put?

Staying Put is a provision laid out in the Children and Families Act 2014 which allows for young people in foster care to remain with their foster carers up to the age of 21. This can offer real benefits to young people and allows them time to consider their options, help them to learn valuable life skills and provides them with a safe and secure base from which to explore their adult world.

Can you foster other children and still offer a Staying Put arrangement?

The short answer is yes, you can continue to foster provided you have a bedroom permanently available to each of the children and young people you are caring for. The young person who is under the Staying Put arrangement will need to undergo a DBS check as an adult member of the fostering household.

Does the Local Authority have to agree to a Staying Put arrangement for the young person?

Guidance provided by the government for Staying Put arrangements states that Local Authorities should refuse a Staying Put arrangement only where it is believed that to do so would be against the young person’s best interest. The young person and the foster carer can appeal any such decision.

What support does the young person receive?

Because the young person is 18 or over and is no longer classed as a “Looked after child” they will no longer have a Local Authority social worker. Instead, they will be supported by the Local Authority’s Leaving Care Team and should be allocated a Personal Adviser. The Local Authority must publicise their packages of support so that young people and carers alike can make informed decisions. Many young people will be eligible for financial support under the Universal Credit Scheme. These packages of support should be explained fully to all young people once they reach 16, as part of best practice.

Will the foster carer continue to receive a fostering allowance?

Again, the Local Authorities must publicise their packages of support to foster carers so that they can make informed decisions and can fully understand the implications, financial and otherwise, in relation to Staying Put. The objective of the government is that foster carers should not be out of pocket should they offer Staying Put. Because Staying Put is not governed by the Fostering Regulations, those fostering for independent fostering agencies will be negotiated separately to the fostering agreements and regulations. Your fostering agency will enter into these negotiations so it is important that foster carers can have these discussions with their fostering providers. Many arrangements include a small portion of financial contribution from the young person. This will be laid out in the Staying Put agreement signed by the young person, the carer and the Local Authority. This can form an important part of teaching young people financial independence skills.

How long does the young person need to have been in foster care to be considered for Staying Put?

There is no requirement on the length of time that a young person needs to have been in foster care to qualify for Staying Put. It should be an option for all previously fostered children.

What happens if the young person goes to university or a gap year?

Bedrooms can be kept available for young people should they wish to go to university or follow a course that takes them away from home for periods of time. Carers and young people should discuss this with the fostering provider and Personal Adviser.

How is Staying Put different from Supported Lodgings?

Staying Put differs from Supported Lodgings in its intention. It is intended that the carer act more as parent than Landlord, offering the young person the same support that millions of 18+ year olds benefit from. Whilst the guidance determines that carers should receive financial support, it does not state how much this should be. It is the spirit of the arrangement that is different and can make an important difference to the young person in this distinction.

What do our young people have to say?

Staying Put as an arrangement for young people leaving foster care, remains underused. However, we asked one of our young people cared for through Eastern Fostering Services and now remaining with their carers under Staying Put what difference it makes.

“It’s about that sense of security. To be honest I don’t even think about the alternatives. Most kids in foster care don’t have that sense of security, that you know where you are and where you’re going to be. The fact that I don’t even think about these things shows what being able to stay with my foster family has given me.”

I, aged 18.

The foster carer adds,

“For us, it’s really important that fostering is not just a flash in a pan. We wanted to commit to the young people in our care. One of our foster children wanted independence and to move out, so we respected and supported that. He remains very much in our lives but enjoys his space and independence. Our other child was not ready to leave home and very much needed and wanted the safety and security we could offer. For us, it was never in question, we are committed to our young people and try to listen and respond to their needs. Staying Put has enabled us to offer that commitment at a time where there is so much uncertainty and stepping out into the big, wide world is just too daunting for many young people. I’m grateful for the support of Eastern Fostering Services and the Local Authority to enable us to give our young person the best possible outcome from fostering.”

If you would like to find out more about all types of fostering, please contact us. You can email us at team@easternfosteringservices.com or call us on 01206 299775. Alternatively, you can check us out on Facebook.

There is a good deal of information on Staying Put specifically on the Fostering Network website.

The post Life After Fostering appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

How are foster carers found for the children who need them?

As a small fostering agency, Eastern Fostering Services receive requests for foster carers (referrals) from several Local Authorities. Many of these come from “local” Local Authorities: in our case, Essex, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire as well as Norfolk and London. But we also receive requests from Local Authorities as far south as Devon and as far North as York.

These local authorities email us daily asking us if we have a suitable match for any of the children they need to place into foster care. The onus then falls on us to look at the needs and requirements of the children and weigh them against any available matches we have with our available foster carers.

Matching is extremely important. It is vital for the child that they are placed with carers who are experienced and skilled enough to meet their specific needs. This ensures that the child is given the best possible quality of care. Matching children and foster carers is about safe and appropriate caring and about creating an experience for the child that is positive and life changing. If matching is not done correctly, children’s adverse experiences can be further compounded causing yet more emotional damage to them.

It is also important that the foster carers are matched with the correct child. Every foster carer should be set up to succeed. They will be caring for a child 24/7 in difficult circumstances; it is therefore imperative that matching is done as carefully and thoughtfully as possible. Only when we have thoroughly considered all of the risks, challenges and positive synergies will we put carers forward to the Local Authority for a child.

This approach, whilst absolutely right, does mean that when there is not a big enough pool of available foster carers, we have to turn away hundreds of children each month. Each child we are able to place in a warm, safe and nurturing home, feels like a victory against the odds.

The microscope that is Covid…

Since the pandemic and the social isolation it has brought about, we have been worried about what life has been like for the most vulnerable families, and particularly the children living in them. When the restrictions were lifted, it felt like the floodgates opened. We started to see a steep increase in the numbers of referrals and noticed some worrying trends.

More teens than ever needing a foster carer.

Many families have reached breaking point it would seem. Families who were already struggling with mental health, substance abuse, domestic violence or stress related to finances have now been put into acute crisis. Many teens will have been living in a family experiencing acute stress for years and this has had an impact on their own mental health and wellbeing. Many of these teens do not have a secure home and are vulnerable to all manner of exploitation. The truth is, there are not enough carers who are prepared to foster teens to enable Local Authorities to support these young people in the way they need and deserve.

Foster care for Sibling groups

We have seen a big increase in larger groups of siblings needing foster carers. These are siblings of all ages who are no longer being kept safe at the family home or who are at real risk of emotional or physical harm. For these children, it is often so important that they are kept together, and Local Authorities are seeking carers who can take all of the children together. Due to the shortage of carers, many of the carers with availability no longer have the room to accommodate these sibling groups. Many of the children we are seeing are very young and have been exposed to severe trauma which has worsened over the lockdowns. They have experienced domestic violence and physical, emotional and sexual abuse. They are often highly traumatised and complex children who require very skilled and experienced foster carers. These carers are in high demand and low supply.

Parent and child foster care requests

It’s evident from the seriousness of the situation we are facing in foster care, many families need support and intervention much earlier. In many cases this has been offered but with limited success. It’s clear the wider system needs improving but fostering can play an important role in that early intervention through parent and child fostering.

There are now high numbers of vulnerable young parents who may lack the blueprint for parenting or who may be trying to parent with poor mental health, substance misuse or who may be in exploitative and violent relationships. Parent and child fostering at its best enables young parents who desperately want to parent well to be given support to do just that. It offers the opportunity to break generational trauma and to make a real difference in the lives of parents and the babies they are caring for. We have been seeing a large increase in the need for parent and child fostering as young people struggle to manage the enormity of parenting against the backdrop of mental health illness, family breakdown and violence.

These young parents deserve foster carers who are experienced in this rather niche type of fostering. They deserve warmth, nurture and non-judgmental support. Again, the pool is running dry.

Could you foster?

It’s true that many people have a romantic image when it comes to fostering. In short, they want to foster babies. The truth is that there is so much need, particularly amongst teens, sibling groups and young parents that this image of foster care just doesn’t cut the mustard.

Fostering teens presents its own challenges and many people feel daunted by these, but it also offers great rewards. Having an adult in your life who sees your potential and wants you to succeed can literally save your life. Carers need to be warm, encouraging, good listeners and able to implement boundaries in a reasonable but firm way.

Offering a home for sibling groups can help children maintain those important relationships during a time of distress, trauma and loss. Carers need to be resilient, empathetic and nurturing but they also need to set and maintain safe and secure boundaries to enable children to feel safe.  

Caring for a young mum or dad and their baby is a very different fostering experience. It is a complex role that balances support and care for the parent with the immediate priority of ensuring baby’s wellbeing. It is not an easy balance to strike and requires a non-judgmental approach, discernment and attunement. It requires robust and factual reporting skills combined with creative ways of approaching hurdles. It can be a very rewarding experience for the young people and carers alike.

Want to help? Contact us.

If you feel that you have the motivation and the personal qualities to make a difference to the most vulnerable children and young people in your community, please get in touch with us or message us on facebook. We’re always happy to chat with anyone who is thinking of fostering and will take the time to answer all of your questions.

The post More children than ever are coming in to foster care. Why? appeared first on Eastern Fostering Services.

Many of us suspected that as professionals once again began seeing children in schools or during home visits or medical appointments, we would inevitably see more children entering the care system. We worried about vulnerable children and families who may not be able to cope with the financial, emotional and mental toll that Covid has caused. We thought of those children with disabilities or additional needs and the pressures on families caring for them. And of course, we worried about children living in unsafe, disfunctional and toxic homes.

In short, we have been holding our breath.

So many children, not enough foster carers.

For many years now, there has been a shortfall in the number of foster carers relative to the number of children who need a safe and nurturing home. This is nothing new. What is new is a sense of helplessness as our worst fears are realised. The situation for thousands of children and young people is absolutely dire. These are children who have been living in impossible situations before and during lockdown, families who have been unable to manage the strain, an explosion in mental health problems amongst adults and children and a lack of help and support to manage them. Relationship breakdown, poverty, homelessness. A perfect storm when these realities hit one other reality: no-one seems to want to foster.

Many of us have never seen so many requests for foster carers. They are relentless and are coming to us from everywhere in the UK. Meanwhile, those who may once have considered fostering have their own set of problems. They are unsure about the future, they are worried about their families, they may be financially vulnerable, they are worried about their health and well-being. Like all of us, they feel insecure. Insecurity and altruism are not the most compatible bed partners.

And yet, now, more than ever, we need people to put themselves forward, to take a leap of faith. We need people who want to make a difference, who see the damage done to our society and want to do something about it. We need people who can see the need and respond to it. And the need is great.

Our teens need you!

By far our biggest cohort of concern are adolescents and teens. We are seeing a need for foster carers for this group of children such as we have not seen for a long time, if ever. These young people might be in need of foster carers because their existing placements have broken down, because their family relationships have broken down, because of poor mental health, because they have been abused or are living in unsafe environments, because they are homeless and vulnerable, because they have been trafficked or exploited. The reasons are endless. What these children need is safety, nurture, love and acceptance. They need someone to take a chance on them.

“But teens are a nightmare….young ones are much easier.”

All children and young people who are in need of a foster carer will have experienced loss and grief, they may have been harmed emotionally and physically. Increasingly children are witnessing extreme domestic violence and fallout from parental substance abuse. All children in need of foster carers will therefore exhibit some outward signs of trauma, stress, grief and loss.

Many people say that they feel they can make more of an impact with a younger child in terms of making a difference, as if somehow they are easier to “manage”. In reality, caring for teenagers is just different and can actually be as, if not more, transformative for the young person.

Teenagers are very often incredibly rewarding to work with. They can also be extremely receptive to positive, nurturing care. Adolescents undergo a period of rapid brain development during which there is a window of time to reframe destructive or unhelpful narratives, behaviours and sense of self.

In short, the perception that teenagers are harder to care for than younger children is not one that is always played out in reality. When it comes to fostering, you often need to make judgments on a child by child basis rather than dicounting children because they fall into a certain age bracket.

Teenagers are interesting, quirky, full of potential. Many have great hopes and plans for the future but lack that secure base to springboard from. Making a difference to a teenage child can have a huge effect on their life trajectory and on society as a whole.

Obviously, fostering this age group requires a different set of skills and qualities but it also requires many of the same approaches one would use with younger children. Teens need to be empowered and allowed to feel part of the decisions made about their life. They need direction and guidance. They need confidence and self-belief. Yet they also need boundaries, love, nurture, play and an opportunity to be a part of a family where they are respected, valued and accepted for who they are.

The alternative is worrying and saddening. Without carers coming forward, these children move between temporary, unsuitable homes and housing, with no meaningful support for their mental health. Opportunities to positively change life outcomes are stripped away and these lost young people become lost, angry adults.

If you’ve been thinking about fostering and think you have what it takes to care for adolescents and teens, please get in touch. We’d be happy to answer all of your fostering questions. Eastern Fostering Services look after carers and children in Essex, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire. We’d love to make a difference to these young people but we really need your help. Take that first step today and contact us or message us on facebook.

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This month we have had numerous requests for carers for young mothers and their babies, small and large sibling groups and children entering or well-established into their teen years.

To cope with the demand for carers across a wide range of children, we need carers of all sorts. There isn’t a “one size fits all” mould for carers. Carers can be of all backgrounds, religious persuasion, sexuality, race or standing. What we hope to find in potential carers is a desire to make a difference in the lives of vulnerable children and young people and to promote their needs.

It may be that you feel an affinity to teens having had a colourful or challenging adolescence yourself. Perhaps you believe that mothers should be given every opportunity to parent their own children with confidence. It may be that you feel strongly that siblings who are unable to live with their birth families have the right to remain with each other. Fostering can cater to all these beliefs and motivations and indeed much of the above is simply impossible without a wide pool of carers to do the hard work.

If you are interested in making a difference to young mothers seeking guidance, to teens who need someone to believe in them or have enough space and time to help siblings thrive. If you want to nurture, guide and advocate for young people or children, please get in touch to find out more.

We hold events across Essex, Suffolk and Cambridgeshire. Our next events are in Peterborough on 29th October and we will be holding an informal drop in on 7th November at our offices. Drop us a message and try to come along. For further information visit our events page or email us at team@easternfosteringservices.com

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So why do people foster?
Most people who foster feel passionately about the wellbeing of children. They want to give opportunities to children who may not have had the best start in life; they want to share something of themselves, if you like.

For many, this is not centred around sharing material wealth, this is about loving, nurturing and caring for a child and for others there is a sense that “I have so much and want to share it.”

Most foster carers have a strong sense of social justice – they believe every child deserves the same opportunity to live a good, healthy and happy life and that this is not just the right of any one group of people. Carers also see the value of the “one child at a time” mentality which values the commitment to justice for one child at a time.

It’s true that many carers have had difficult times in their lives; things they’ve lived through that have made them stronger or more wise. Often people wish to share what they’ve learned with children going through similar things and can teach them resilience and a sense of hope for the future.

Carers understand that they are working in an imperfect system and are often at the mercy of government policy and rules and regulations. They do, however understand that it is often the children who pay the price. As such, carers realise that they have a unique opportunity to be the one good thing in a child’s life during difficult times.

There are many carers who are driven to fostering because of what their belief system is. Faith can play a huge role in a person’s desire to foster. Looking after the most vulnerable in our society is an important way for many to live out their faith.

Whatever the initial reason for fostering, all carers will say that they want to make a difference in the lives of children and this is at the root of their motivation.

If you can relate to any of these key motivations to foster and would like the opportunity to discuss fostering with us, please come along to our drop in session next Thursday 13th September at 10.30; we’d be delighted to talk to you.

Our address can be found at www.easternfosteringservices.com or email us at team@easternfosteringservices.com fore more information.

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The first thing to say is that we believe that there is no better place for children to be than with their birth families, with the people they know and love. The reality is, however that sometimes birth parents are unable to keep their children safe and protected from significant harm or they may actively be harming their children. When children come in to foster care, there is undoubtedly a tension between love and loyalty towards their parents and relief at being safe and well cared for. It is a difficult and confusing time for these children and one which carers have to navigate with great skill and sensitivity.

It is true to say that by far the most common reasons for children coming into foster care are domestic violence, neglect due to substance abuse or severe ill mental health and child abuse – more often than not, many children experience a combination of these factors which lead to them being significantly harmed and traumatised. Clearly, we have a significant problem in this country with the way we support people who struggle with ill mental health and addiction problems, often sufferers are criminalised or left to cope alone. Local government services have been stripped of funds and can be overwhelmed by the social problems needing resolution. That said, however difficult it can be for parents trying to cope with these issues, the fact remains that many children are living in untenable situations where their lives and mental well being are at significant risk.

We receive requests from Local Authorities to find homes for all manner of children and we often get to see what efforts have already been made to support these families. We see parents being offered support and we see children being kept with their birth families for long periods of time. We see children coming into foster care to offer parents an opportunity to put in place coping strategies or to give parents space to make decisions about the future. Often our carers are supporting plans for children to move back with their birth parents.

We also see children who have returned to birth families from foster care coming back into foster care time and time again following subsequent breakdown in their relationship with their birth family or a failure on behalf of parents to put the needs of their children first. We see with each breakdown that children are more damaged, feel a greater sense of rejection and struggle with poor self esteem and trauma-related difficulties.

It’s also important to note that many parents are able to turn things around and provide a safe and stable life for their children following a break and some robust support from the Local Authority. This is the outcome all foster carers want because they know that this is where the best interests of the child are served.

We also regularly see children who have been catastrophically damaged. Often because they have remainedfor too long in families where they were neglected or subjected to great harm. This is often not because their parents did not love them but because they had little or no capacity to keep them safe from harm.

Foster carers work within a system that can do very little right! There are many times when good decisions are made concerning children and there are times when poor decisions are made. This is true of any system made by human hand. However, foster carers can testify of the many professionals who care deeply about the families they support and the children they protect and work tirelessly to secure good futures for them. What cannot be denied is that these damaged children exist and without foster carers to take them in and keep them safe, to nurture them and to help them heal, they will simply fall through the gaps and have only one destructive, dark path to follow.

Many foster carers increasingly foster young parents and their babies. This arrangement can be very effective in keeping babies with young, vulnerable parents and in interrupting the cycle of children entering foster care. Foster carers looking after parents and babies will share knowledge, help parents to bond with their babies, provide parents with coping tools or support access to mental health provision. We have seen this work fantastically well for many young mothers and fathers and of course we have seen it fail despite efforts on the part of carers and young parents alike.

The fact is that a lot of great work is put in by foster carers to understand the needs of the children or young people they care for and to facilitate a healthy and positive relationship with their birth families where this is appropriate. This is no easy feat and carers come up against many challenges but all good carers will have the interest of the child firmly and resolutely at the centre of everything they do.

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