When fostering comes to an end
Tracie Baker - 13th December 2022
Over the years, I’ve had children leave my care for all sorts of reasons. That’s because fostering is so diverse. Not only because each child is unique but also because each child comes to you with their own specific care plan (set out by the Local Authority) and their own specific ideas about how things should be (set out by the child!) For parent and child fostering, the parent is often being assessed as part of the placement, meaning that there is usually a defined length of time for it. I’ve had mums who have been successful in their parenting assessment and have gone on to do well with their baby, I’ve had mums who have been unable to cope
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Musings of a Foster Carer – Fostering Sibling Groups
Joanne Patterson - 7th October 2022
There was a time when I had three birth children under 5. Once they grew up and we started fostering, we thought we’d use this experience to foster siblings who might otherwise be separated. We felt strongly that coming into foster care is traumatic for children, being separated from your parents and everything familiar to you. Being split from your brothers and sisters would be another level of loss and trauma. So we decided to try and help siblings stay together. In many cases, it is in the childrens’ interests to remain together but this can prove very tricky for Local Authorities during a time of a shortage of foster carers and highest ever numbers of children coming into care.
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Musings of a foster carer – Fostering teens
Janet Wright - 30th September 2022
No doubt about it, teenagers get a bad rap. I’m one of those rare, but I know much needed, foster carers who only foster teens. Why? I hear you gasp. I love babies and younger children, but there’s something about teens that I find so rewarding. Sure, it can be hard to keep up to speed with their world: social media, language, trends. Keeping them safe is so much harder than it used to be. BUT Teenagers are interesting. They may not always be interested in interesting things (in my view), but as human beings, they have so much to offer. Undoubtedly, over the last few years, the teens we see come into foster care are more complex. The reasons
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Musings of a foster carer – Food for thought.
Josh Brightmore - 16th September 2022
Food is a big deal in fostering. So big, you’d need a few blogs to do it justice. I’ve seen a lot over the last few years since starting fostering. There are so many ways that childhood adverse experiences can impact food, eating habits and behaviour around food. We once fostered two brothers, who had suffered severe neglect. The first evening they were with us, we sat at the table to eat. I brought out something I thought would be a safe bet, not knowing what their favourite foods were. It became obvious immediately that they had not been taught how to use a knife and fork and had probably never sat at a table to eat. Carnage doesn’t come
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Musings of a foster carer – Holidays
Jean Wilson - 9th September 2022
We all look forward to a holiday! Holiday is a time when you’re happy, the whole family is in a good mood and you are able to relax and get lost in the novelty of a foreign country, its language, its food, its pace of life. The first time we took our foster child away on holiday with us, we assumed that the same rules would apply: everyday life would be left behind and we would all be refreshed by a much needed holiday. And it was refreshing. And it was a happy time. But it was soon apparent that we were not going to be able to leave our metaphorical baggage behind. The challenges of fostering followed us across
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Musings of a foster carer – Waiting for the child to arrive
Katie Walton - 12th August 2022
The bed is made, clean, fresh, corners tucked in. The bedroom dusted to within an inch of its life. The fridge is able to cater for a range of tastes. I’ve even managed to make cookies which are in the oven as we speak. For me, nothing says welcome more clearly than the smell of baking. I look at the clock. They are late. Nothing unusual as that. I fidget and find things to do with my restless hands. The clock hand moves so slowly. It always does. But here’s the thing, no matter how many children you have fostered, how many clocks you have watched, it is always unnerving waiting for a new child to arrive. The fostering rollercoaster
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Musings of a foster carer – The early days of fostering.
Lisa McBride - 12th August 2022
I’ve been a foster carer for some years now. Recently, I welcomed a new child into my home. Every time a new child arrives, it takes me right back to the very first time I fostered. A path well laid. I feel that I’d been really well prepared for fostering during my assessment with Eastern Fostering Services. I spent a lot of time with my assessor talking about the realities of fostering, what I could expect, what the challenges might be. I’d seen anonymised referrals and had the chance to understand the impact of loss and trauma on children, their development and their behaviour. I’d gone to the skills to foster training which had opened my eyes to the realities
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Musings of a foster carer
Katie Walton - 3rd August 2022
That must be rewarding! When people find out that you are a foster carer, they will often comment on how rewarding it must be. I’m never quite sure how to respond to that in an honest, authentic way. The truth is that a lot of the time, it is hard work. At times, you can feel like a vessel, pouring out and never quite being replenished. I think one of the things committed foster carers have to be able to do is to keep looking for the small encouragements. There are always plenty of them but you have to stop and look. Eyes up. Sometimes, it will take someone else to notice a subtle change in your child or point
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