When you decide to foster through Eastern Fostering Services, there’s a wonderful mix of excitement, nervousness and big questions.
One concern that often comes up, and one of the worries our current foster carers shared from when they first started is:
“Will I need to ask permission for everything?”
It’s totally understandable. Fostering involves a child or young person who is looked-after by the local authority, so it can feel like you might need to phone someone for every little decision — “Can they go to a friend’s house?”, “Can they go on a school trip?” etc.
But here’s the reassuring reality.
Carers are trusted to make everyday parenting decisions
Fostering isn’t about being micromanaged. It’s about giving children a safe, stable, normal home life.
The guidance on delegated authority (which governs decision-making in foster care) makes clear that day-to-day decisions should normally be delegated to the foster carer wherever appropriate.
So, you will be able to decide things like:
- Routines: bedtimes, screen time, what the child wears
- Hobbies, after-school clubs, school trips (within agreed guidelines)
- Haircuts, purchasing clothes, everyday health appointments
- Holidays within the UK, day trips, social activities
The aim is that children do not feel stymied by bureaucracy but can enjoy childhood just like their peers. Whilst it is of course practical and sensible for day-to-day decisions to be made by the foster carer, if it is planned that children might return to live with their parents, we would advise sensitivity when it comes to certain things, for example, if a child has always had their hair cut in a certain way, it might be nice to consult with parents if the child wants a big change-it’s always wise to put yourselves in their shoes, and think about the things you’d like to know about.
Support and clarity from the outset
Before a child is placed, we help ensure you’ll have clear information about which decisions you can make, and which may require additional input. There is always an initial meeting that takes place when a child first joins your family, called a Placement Meeting (or shortly thereafter) and this is where a Placement Plan is drawn up, which records who can make what decisions.
So, you’ll know:
- What decisions you can confidently say yes to
- What you’ll need to check or consult on
- Who to contact if you’re uncertain
You’re never left to guess — you have backing, supervision and a framework.
When you’ll need permission (or more formal agreement)
There are some decisions that still involve the local authority or someone with parental responsibility. For example:
- Trips overseas or extended travel abroad
- Major medical treatment or surgery
- Change of school in some circumstances
These are more significant than everyday parenting decisions, so they require formal consent or legal responsibility decisions.
But even then, you are not alone: your supervising social worker, the local authority and the placement team support the process.
Many carers find this worry disappears quickly
Once the child is settled, and you have the Placement Plan in place, carers often tell us the bulk of their previous concern falls away:
“I worried I’d be asking permission every time we left the house — but it’s nothing like that. We just get on with family life and check in when something is big.”
“We didn’t realise how much trust we’d be given. We’re their safe home — of course we’re trusted to make decisions.”
In short, you are the parent-figure in day-to-day life for the child — making the decisions a parent would — not waiting for permission at every turn.
Our goal: Everyday life for children in our care
At Eastern Fostering Services we believe children thrive when their home life is as normal as possible. That means:
- Friends’ birthday parties
- After-school clubs
- Summer holidays
- Spontaneous weekend outings
- A warm, loving home where decisions are made with confidence
We’ll ensure you feel informed, supported and empowered in your role.
Thinking of fostering and this worry is on your mind?
If this is something you’ve thought about, you’re absolutely not alone — it’s one of the most common worries among new carers, and one of the quickest to fade once placement begins.
With training, supervision, and clear guidance, you’ll always know where you stand — and you’ll have the freedom to create the kind of safe, loving home that children deserve.
If you’d like to talk more to our team at Eastern Fostering Services, ask questions, or hear from carers who felt the same at the beginning — we’re here to support you.
