James Roderick - 13th July 2022
“Are you sure you want to do that”?
Angela and Mark’s* fostering journey began nearly a decade ago. They are both keen to share the story of their journey with Eastern Fostering Services in order to help others who may be thinking about fostering find out what it’s really like. This is the first in what we hope will be a series of blog posts in which they talk to me about their experience.
When I first met Angela and Mark I was really struck by how warm, friendly and relaxed they both are – though they assure me that the fostering experience, while one they both say has been richly rewarding, hasn’t always been the most relaxing experience!
Now both retired from their professsions, Angela and Mark first thought about fostering nearly 10 years ago when their own three children had grown up, left the home and begun their own lives as independent adults. They were by then in their mid-50s – they’re keen to let people know that age shouldn’t be a barrier to the process – some people think they can’t possibly become a foster carer above the age of 50, but, now in their mid-60’s they’re about to do it again!
It was an advert they’d seen in a local newspaper that prompted them to get in touch with Eastern Fostering Services. They’d both had experience with children from disadvantaged backgrounds through their work, not that they say that was necessary to have in order to become a foster carer, but, it was certainly a motivating factor for them.
After an initial visit from Eastern Fostering Services staff, they were provided with one-to-one support from one of their social workers to take them through the “Skills to Foster” course in which they not only learned valuable skills that they’d use in the years ahead, but, learned a lot about themselves. “We learned a lot about ourselves; why we have and hold certain attitudes”, says Mark. It was an enriching experience for them both and for their family, and one where they were able to be themselves without a fear of being judged.
The judgement actually came from some of their friends who were horrified that they’d be taking on new responsibilities when they should be winding down and easing into retirement. “Are you sure you want to do that” was a common response when they told friends and some in their extended families. Many tried to talk them out of it. It did make them think – one area that concerned them was that they weren’t as young as they used to be, but, now, nearly ten years on they are worried much less about that. “You don’t have to be super-fit – patience, tolerance and resilience are the most important things,” says Angela, “the support from Eastern Fostering Services provides everything else you need for the journey”.
In the next in our series on Angela and Mark’s journey we’ll hear about their journey to becoming approved carers in The Road to Panel
View the full series of Angela and Mark’s story here
*we have changed the carers’ names
Eastern Fostering Services - The small agency with a strong family feel
